Bitter Truths
by theunknownvoice
Summary: As her eating disorder spirals out of control, will Kisa have the strength to discover her self worth or will she be destroyed by her self hatred?
1. Beginning with a Whimper

Bitter Truths

Beginning with a Whimper

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: In response to a challenge sent to me.

It was the time of day Kisa hated the most. She could smell the food coming up from the kitchen and her stomach did a somersault.

"Kisa, it's time to eat," her mother called out cheerfully.

She obeyed hesitantly. Her mind was screaming for her not to go down the stairs. Her body ached though. She had only eaten a banana for breakfast this morning.

She stared at the plate in front of her. Was her mother trying to make her fat? The plate was loaded with rice, beef, and vegetables. There were even spring rolls and a few cookies.

Nervously she began to chop up her food.

_You can do this. You can do this._

She ate slowly. Each bite was a forced down vigorously. She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. She just wanted dinner to be over with.

The panic soaked into her bloodstream. She had to get away from this table. She wasn't going to be Kisa the fat tigress

She wanted to be pretty. She wanted to be beautiful. She wanted to be thin and she was going to be damn it! She was going to achieve her perfect weight and then she would show those girls at school that she worth it.

_Kisa had been trying to avoid them all day. Everyone at school knew Kimiko Yamoto and her friends. They were the most popular girls at school. Rumor was that Kimiko, commonly known as Kimi, had managed to seduce several of the teachers. Consequently, her victims had no safe place to go. Kimi's family had money, power, and the ability to sweet talk their way through complications. If Kimiko Yamoto didn't like you then chances are you would be alone, friendless, and abandoned._

_The other students would treat you as a leper. You, alone, had to defend yourself._

_Yamoto's reach was great and Kisa Sohma knew she didn't have a chance._

_The little click circled her like vultures over a fresh carcass in the cafeteria._

"_Isn't Kisa Sohma," Suki Harashi sneered._

"_My, my, little Kisa aren't we going to be as round as a blob of grease," taunted Saki Yin. "You have enough food there to feed an army."_

_Kisa just moved backwards. She didn't have that much food. Her serving was the same size as everyone else's. _

"_You know how strange you are," Saki continued. "You're not even beautiful. You're just weird with your eyes and hair."_

"_A freak," Suki declared._

"_A freak that isn't worth anything. Worthless," Kimiko Yamoto said as she turned her back on Kisa._

_The tigress felt the room pull away from her._

Dinner ended and Kisa waited for a while to head to the bathroom. She watched as her mother just went to lie day. Kisa was always careful. She didn't need to be caught.

She stared in the bathroom mirror for a long time. Why couldn't she have been born normal? Why did she have to look so different from everyone else? She knew it was a problem all of her cousins had faced but it stung Kisa more than it should have. Maybe it was because Kagura and Rin looked normal. People didn't look at them with disgust as they looked at Kisa, Kyo, Kureno, Hiro, Haru, and Ritsu. Ayame and Yuki were too beautiful for people to care if their hair and eyes were strange colors.

Slowly she grabbed her toothbrush off the counter.

When she was twelve she had gone silent. She had ignored the hateful comments by just sinking into herself. She couldn't do that now. She wanted to prove to those girls and the former junishi that she was good enough. She would be the best. She would beat those girls at their own game.

She would become popular.

_You can do this. You can do this._

She grabbed the toothbrush quickly. The sooner she did this the sooner it was over. She jammed the toothbrush down her throat and poked further than she thought possible.

She felt her stomach rebel as the bile rose up her throat. Chucks of food entered the sink as she purged. The taste was horrible and sickening but Kisa didn't stop. She wouldn't stop until every last bit of that disgusting dinner was out of her stomach.

She hated eating. Food in general would cause her to nauseous. She hated the sweetness of ice cream going down her throat. She hated beef and pork. She hated food in general.

It wasn't that she liked purging. It made her feel disgusting as she forced herself to throw up. She would rather just skip eating in general but then her mother would notice. It made her sick but she had already lost ten pounds since she started this routine three weeks ago. She wasn't going to stop and until she had proven that those girls that she was better than them.

Kisa continued to empty the contents of her stomach. The smell was unbearable and she felt herself become sicker.

She never heard the door open or the sharp in tack of breath. She didn't know any one was there until strong hands pulled the toothbrush away from her. Her head was jerked up suddenly and she found herself facing angry grey eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?"

To be continued….


	2. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Disclaimer: Owning Fruits Basket would allow me to see more of Kureno in the books but since I don't own the series I have to settle for him being a minor character.

She had been caught.

She should've known the day was coming.

She couldn't hide what she was doing forever. She wasn't clever enough to keep hiding her dark secret. It was like everything she had ever done. She had failed.

It was always poor Kisa. Kisa's too sensitive. Kisa's too nice. Kisa's too sweet. Kisa never feels pain or anger. She never has the urge to scream or beat the living daylights out of another human being.

Poor Kisa not capable of taking care of herself. Always needing a shoulder to cry on. Always needing a friend to hold her hand. Always needing someone to whisper words of love and encourage. She was such a dependent weak creature that she made her own skin crawl.

Kisa, the tigress, who wasn't strong but weak. Kisa who always saw her worst faults but hid by the shy demeanor of a little girl. Kisa who was incapable of acting strong or angry or demanding what she wanted. Kisa who could be forgotten in a blink of an eye because she wasn't pretty like Rin, sweet like Tohru, or aggressive like Kagura.

She had expected to be caught.

She could lie to her mother. That was an easy task. Her mother believed her words that school was good. Her mother didn't hear cry at night as she slept. Her mother didn't see the tear stains, the torn clothes, or the bruises from fighting. See no evil, hear no evil, there is no evil.

She had expected to be caught.

She had expected it to be Hari when he noticed she lost too much weight or Shigure when she got too careless had started purging in other people's homes. She had even expected to be caught by Akito. Akito was god and therefore all knowing.

In her mind it had always been one person who would catch her. There would be a scream, a moment of shock and then there would be demands that she get professional help. She had never expected to be caught by two people.

The two boys forced her into a corner. Haru had the toothbrush gripped so tightly in his hand that his knuckles were a livid white. Yuki had such a tight grip on her arm that she could feel her skin bruising from the force of his hand.

She tried to move away from them. She tried to back into a corner only to find that they had too much of a grip on her. Haru was keeping her still with his eyes while Yuki was physically not allowing her to budge.

Haru had remembered that her birthday was in three weeks. He had no idea what to get her considering that she had long ago outgrown the kiddie things her mother often bought. He figured that maybe if he talked to her for a while he could figure out the perfect gift. Besides it had been a few weeks since he had spent time with his favorite cousin. He missed her while he worked on hours of homework. He would so much rather spend time with her than some dead guys in his literature books.

Yuki had noticed his cousin's strange actions when she visited Tohru. Kisa didn't smile so brightly in the company of the riceball the last time she had visited. She had offered Tohru a lame excuse about needing to be home in order to leave after Tohru asked her to say for dinner. He had assumed that Kyo, the idiotic cat who was also Tohru's ever protective boyfriend, had said something to Kisa that had upset the young tigress. Kisa's visits had been becoming shorter and shorter. Yuki found himself missing his gentle cousin's company and had decided a visit was in order.

The two boys had bumped into each other and had decided to visit Kisa together. They had entered the house only to find Kisa's mother preparing for bed. She welcomed them but reminded them that Kisa had an eight o'clock bedtime so the visit must be quick. It was then that they had heard the sounds coming from the bathroom. It had sounded like someone was vomiting up a lung. Horrified the both had rushed to the doorway not caring what the consequences would be.

Haru had never felt so sick in his life. The sight of his young cousin forcing herself to throw up was too much to handle. He had never thought her that stupid. This was Kisa not Rin. Rin was the one who always had issues of such self-hated not his Kisa.

He felt himself about to explode. HOW COULD SHE BE SO STUPID? DID SHE POSSIBLY THINK THAT THIS WAS NORMAL? THIS WASN'T HEALTHY BEHAVIOR. SHE WAS GOING TO KILL HERSELF. He couldn't take it anymore.

"What the hell are you doing? Have you lost your FREAKIN' mind?" he shouted as he tossed the toothbrush in the garbage.

Yuki still slightly shocked pulled her by the arm towards her bedroom. This was his cousin, his Kisa and he wasn't about to let her destroy herself. The little tigress shouldn't hate herself. Couldn't she see how good she was?

Quietly he began giving orders after he hit Haru. They didn't need him to go black at a time like this.

"You need to stop doing stupid things," Yuki said his voice icy. "Now we're going to leave you alone in here. You have five minutes to shower and change into your night clothes. Then you are to go to straight to your room. If you try to purge again you'll have to answer to both of us."

Kisa trembled slightly as Haru brought in her night clothes and a towel. He wouldn't even look at her and Yuki had already marched out of the bathroom. She could feel her heart contract painfully.

Haru quickly called Hatori and told him in the situation. Hari had agreed that bulimia was a serious affliction and had insisted that the two boys keep a careful watch on their cousin.

"Under no circumstances are you to leave her alone," Hari said evenly. "I want her brought to the clinic tomorrow. Who knows how long this has been going on and what impact it has had her health both physically and psychologically."

Kisa came out of the shower in a daze. She felt terrible like part of her had shattered in a million pieces.

She would never be beautiful.

She would never be worth anything.

She dragged her feet as she approached her bedroom. She lied down and pulled the covers over her head. She heard the sound of footsteps less than five minutes later. Both boys had pulled out sleeping bags and proceeded to lie down on either side of her, Haru on the left and Yuki on the right.

She tired to sleep knowing that tomorrow would be hell but sleep refused to come. She wanted to cry but knew better than to. The boys would feel no pity towards her.

As the two boys drifted off to sleep, they refused to leave even when she screamed, Kisa stayed awake. She had never felt so trapped in her life.

To be continued….


	3. When the Phone Rings

Chapter 3: When the Phone Rings

Disclaimer: _Looks around. Pulls out pockets. _Nothing but lint. I do not own Fruits Basket.

A/N: I apologize to everyone who has been waiting for updates. Unfortunately my computer died. It had been having lots of problems so I had to order another one. Again I apologize. On with the fic.

Sleep avoided Kisa Sohma that night as she lay squished between her two cousins. She was sixteen. Sixteen years old and her twenty-something year old cousins thought she needed to be taken care of. It was ridiculous.

She wasn't the same scarred little girl she had been four years ago. No one saw that though. Her mother still gave her an eight o'clock bedtime. Her room was decorated with stuffed animals. The louder she proclaimed that she wasn't a little girl the more mother held on to the image.

Things had changed in the past four years. The curse had been broken. Several of the junishi had moved away from Sohma House.

Ayame and Mine had moved to the world's fashion capital, New York City, after getting married.

Yuki, Kyo and Tohru still lived with Shigure. Yuki had moved out for a time but then found himself oddly enough missing his two strange cousins and the little riceball. Tohru was like a sister to him. Shigure with his perverted sense of humor and scheming mind was one of the few people that Yuki genuinely liked. As for Kyo, Yuki would never tell the stupid cat that he considered him an equal and oddly enough a brother.

Ritsu had surprised everyone be proclaiming his desire to study in Africa. It was first assertive move he had ever made in his life and everyone had been in shock.

Hari was still employed at Sohma House as the regular doctor. He was seeing Mayu quite regularly and was happier than most people thought him capable of. Of course, he was even happier when Aya didn't call him at three o'clock in the morning.

Kagura had decided to go to Australia for vacation two summers ago and had liked it so much that she stayed.

Rin had been having a rough time. For the past few years she had been shuffled through mental institutions. The stress had gone to her head and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her destructive behavior. The only one who still regularly visited Rin was Hiro since he was the only on Rin allowed to see her.

Akito had changed the most dramatically. Tired of being alone, she had spent time traveling and making a life for herself. She often spent time in the Sohma House gardens remembering and trying to regain her fragile self-esteem.

Hiro being the youngest Sohma still lived with his family in Sohma House. He had grown tall with his eyes still his most prominent feature. Over the years he and Kisa had grow apart. Maybe it was because he had realized he would never love him like he loved her or maybe it was because he felt responsible for Rin being hospitalized.

Momiji and Haru shared an apartment on the other side of town. The former bunny boy had grown into a dashing young man. He was training to be a violinist. Haru hadn't changed much. He still wore the same black clothing and earrings he always had. Despite his curse being broken, Haru still had a black side. He rarely got angry and when he did the consequences were never good. He was at the university studying. He hated it with a passion but he knew it was something he had to do. After all not everyone could teach martial arts like Kyo.

No one ever heard from Kureno. After his relationship with Arisa had failed he just faded out. His calm presence was missed by almost everyone with the exception of Shigure.

As far as Kisa knew none of her cousins cared if she lived or died. They just saw her as Kisa, the quiet person who sat in the background.

-

Hatori Sohma could not sleep. Haru had been so angrily when he had called earlier. Hatori wasn't a fool. He had known for months that something was happening to his younger cousin but had been waiting for her to come to him.

He should've done something sooner. Maybe then…

No, he couldn't blame himself for not realizing what was going. He could be grateful, however, that it had been Yuki and Haru who had found Kisa.

Yuki had good judgment. Sometimes it surprised Hatori how calm Yuki was compared to the ever flamboyant Ayame. Yuki would know what to do with Kisa. He would take care of the little tigress and keep her safe. He would be a calm presence.

Haru was a different matter. He would be pissed off and livid. If it had been anyone else Haru would've called Hatori and then excused himself. This was Kisa and when it came to Kisa, Haru couldn't be expected to keep calm.

Hatori sat there so deep in thought that he was surprised when gentle arms hugged him from behind.

"Are you going to bed?"

He turned slowly to look at Mayu. As much as he wanted to sleep with her wrapped up in his arms he couldn't.

"I'll be there once I've made some phone calls. Don't wait up," he said as he softly placed a kiss on her cheek.

-

"Who the hell is calling now?" Kyo demanded.

It was two o'clock in the morning. Yuki hadn't come home and hadn't bothered to call. Kyo could've cared less but Tohru had been worried. (Kyo-kun, what if he was hit by a car? He could be lying in his own blood, hurt and we couldn't do anything for him. What if something happened? He could be lost out there. He didn't even say where he was going.)

As much as he tried to reassure her that everything was alright, Kyo felt that something was off. He made her tea and carried her to her room after she passed out on the couch.

Kyo was somewhat grateful for the silence and Tohru being sound asleep. He would never admit that Yuki's odd behavior had him worried. So if anyone asked, he was staying up so he could beat the crap out of rat-boy for making Tohru freak out.

Kyo was about to pick up the phone when he heard the gentle padding of Shigure's feet.

"Hari, missed me so much you couldn't sleep even with the lovely Mayu around? No, I'm not busy at eight in the morning. Kyo and Tohru? Tohru has the day off but Kyo's teaching a class. Of course, I can ask him to cancel but what's going on? Hari, you sound—No, Yuki didn't call. Kisa, did what? She is alright? Of course Hari. We'll be there."

Shigure turned from the phone to find a pair of red eyes staring at him. "Kyo, you better sit down."

-

The words were just now sinking in. His best friend had been slowly killing herself.

Hiro had been jostled awake by his father. Hatori was on the phone. The former sheep wondered if wanting to commit murder would be considered a sin considering that he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in two weeks. His little sister found it hilarious to jump on his bed while he was sleeping. Damn Shigure for suggesting ways that Hinata could get her ni-san's attention.

Grouchy and in desperate need of sleep, he had complained as he answered the phone and then Hari's words had hit him.

Kisa was in trouble. Guilt consumed him. He needed to talk to the one person in the world that understood him. His hand drifted towards the phone as he dialed the number without even looking.

"This is Hiro Sohma I would like to speak to a patient. I know it's late but it's an emergency."

-

Rin frowned deeply. She wasn't crazy as was popularly believed. She liked being in institutions because it was easier. Institutions were enclosed spaces. Everything that came in and out was monitored. Everything that happened was controlled. The outside world on the other hand was full of insanity and equally insane people. No, Rin preferred living in a world where she could choose who she interacted with.

She had always felt alone among the Sohmas. At one point Haru had been her rock but she crushed his heart into fragments. They didn't belong together. It was Hiro's call that made her realize that she wasn't the only one who couldn't handle the strain of being a Sohma.

Isuzu Sohma was tired of hiding. She checked herself out and prepared to go to the clinic. Hiro needed her and she wasn't going to let the one person who loved her down.

-

The mad dash to the airport had begun. Ayame hated flying. There was something about having to trust a man-made plane to keep you from dying that he just didn't like. Snake liked to feel the ground beneath them.

He had been planning to come home for a relaxing visit away from the New York fashion would. He was going to spend time with Shigure and Hari reminiscencing. A trio reunion had been in the making much to Hari's disgust. (_Nonsense, Tori-san you know that you've missed my delightful company_. How can I miss you Aya when you call me everyday? _Ha-san is so mean._)

He had been excited. He would be spending time with Yuki. Instead he was flying home in order to help out.

He had hoped that at least one of the zodiac members would be well-adjusted. With Kisa's new problem he was forced to admit that the curse had left a scar across the souls of the former junishi.

-

The former goddess didn't know how to take the news. She cried lone tears for the former tigress. It was her personal failure that she couldn't help her family. She didn't hear the faint brushing of leaves or the sound of footsteps or the increase in volume of the birds' singing.

"It's not you're fault."

Her eyes snapped up immediately at the sound of the familiar voice. She hadn't seen him in four years but stil she knew him beter than anyone else.

"Hari called me," he said answereing the unspoken question. "I wanted him to know where I was in case something happened."

"Are you going to the clinic tomorrow?" she asked her voice almost breaking.

He nodded as he offered her a hand to get up. Nothing was said as they entered Sohma House neither one imprisoned by any curse other than the ones of their own making.

-

She was so angry. The flight from Australia didn't calm her anger. The drive to Shigure's house only made her angrier.

She called Kisa at least once a week. Why hadn't her cousin chosen to confide in her? Why did she find out about this from Hari?

She grabbed her bag and matched into Shigure's house. She tried to walk but she was too upset.

Shigure heard the crunching of one of his walls. His house was going to suffer for the next few weeks. He can see the migraines coming his way.

"Hello Kagura."

-

He was trying very hard not t utter apologies to everyone he met. The words, "I'm sorry," however, were refusing to remain trapped. He had apologized to the stewardess for her bringing him the wrong food. He had apologized to the clerk at the car rental place for needing a car immediately. He had apologized to his parents with visiting without calling.

Ritsu had a sinking feeling that he would even apologize to Kisa for caring.

-

Momiji was noticeably upset. He was angry at everyone who spoke to him. He never yelled at people but on his way to the clinic he couldn't handle it. He even swore at the other drivers.

It had to be Kisa. Kisa was the nicest of his cousins after Hatori. She often came over to visit Momiji and Haru. Her gentle conversation and understanding ways always lifted Momiji's spirits.

His relationship with Momo was broken and damaged almost beyond repair. His sister barely knew him and didn't spend much time with him even when they had moved past some hurdles. The aching pain of the failed relationship only lessened in Kisa's presence.

Kisa had filled that vacant spot in his life. She was his little sister in all the ways that mattered. What if he didn't get a chance to tell her that?

-

Kisa's eyes drooped. Telling her mother the truth had been painful. Her mother's eyes had widened and she had excused herself after Kisa's confession.

Kisa was reminded of four years ago when she sealed off her words. Her mother couldn't handle it and had let Kisa stay with Shigure. It was abandonment. It had gotten too hard to be there for Kisa and her mother had just left her.

She was going to have to do this alone. Why didn't anyone give a damn about her? Why did her mother have to have that sad look? All she wanted was for someone to hug and tell her it would be okay. She needed to know that someone loved her. She turned away prepared to run when a strong arm grabbed her.

Arms wrapped around her pulling into a hardened chest. She wept and Haru just held her while Yuki grabbed her hand and squeezed gently.

"You're not alone," Haru whispered quietly in her ear.

Yuki nodded his grey eyes telling her that it would be alright.

To be continued…


	4. The Best Thing

Chapter 4: The Best Thing

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

They sat in utter silence. It was the first time that the entire zodiac had gathered together without anyone muttering a word. It wasn't normal.

Tohru sat near Kyo her eyes red rimmed from crying. Kisa was her friend and she had failed the younger girl by not recognizing the signs. She felt a gentle squeeze of her arm and looked into the deep crimson pools.

"She's strong."

It was all he said but for some reason Tohru smiled as she laid her head down on his shoulder.

-

Kisa walked slowly. Fear was ebbing away whatever feelings she had left. Haru grasped her shoulder tightly his grey eyes never leaving hers.

She leaned into him reflexively. She was terrified. Why did she have to come here and explain to Hari what was going on. Couldn't they just pretend it had never happened?

Haru just stroked her hair and continued to hold onto her. He wasn't going to let go. He had watched Rin destroy herself and he wasn't about to go through the same thing with his Kisa.

Yuki claimed her other hand. He was praying that Machi was in the waiting room. His girlfriend had almost suffered a panic attack when he explained the situation with Kisa. Right now Yuki needed her to make everything alright.

Kisa gripped onto her two cousins. They walked right past the waiting room and into the side door to Hari's office.

-

The waiting room was a disaster. Kisa's mother had shown up half an hour after the appointment was scheduled. Her hair was disheveled. Her make-up was smudged. He clothes were warped with wrinkles and her red-rimmed eyes were so tired one would've thought she hadn't slept in a year.

The others didn't notice the mother too much. It had become obvious over the years that Kisa and her mother were trapped in a disastrous relationship. Like most mothers of zodiacs, Tsubaki couldn't bare the thought of her child coming to harm. So she had trapped Kisa in the image of a cute little girl.

The remaining Zodiacs in the area could tell that Kisa had grown up and even those who lived further away had known that their little cousin wasn't so little anymore. Kisa had always seemed happy. She was so deceptively innocent looking that it was hard to imagine Kisa having a serious problem.

That was why they hadn't noticed the last time. Kisa kept things to herself bottled up in tight compressed boxes waiting to explode like a jack-in-the-box on steroids. When Kisa exploded it was done in disturbingly quiet ways like the silence years ago or the eating disorder now. It was so different than the others.

When Haru, Kyo, Akito, Kagura, and Rin exploded there was broken furniture, damaged property and bleeding people. When Kureno and Momiji exploded it was done quietly without too much property damage but excessive moping. When Hiro and Ritsu exploded it was a rush of words. When Yuki, Shigure, Ayame and Hatori exploded a person better run because their anger was expressed in subtle ways that could lead to bigger chaos.

Kisa's sadness, depression, and anger lead her down more dangerous paths. There were signs but few were so fluent in Kisa that they were able to pick-up on the small nuances.

-

Hatori left his office quietly. He hadn't wanted to go into the waiting room but if he didn't then chaos would break out. The longer he made them wait for news the worse they would think it was. Aya was probably planning a drinking session where they would mourn over the loss of the tigress.

The minute he walked into the room he was abraded with questions.

"Where is she?"

"She's not dying?"

"Will she be okay?"

"Can we see her?"

"What's going to happen?"

"Tori-san, is there anything we can do?"

"Hari, what's the prognosis?"

"Is she okay?"

"How are Yuki and Haru taking it?"

"QUIET!"

Kyo's voice rang through the hospital waiting room like a drum.

"Let the man speak."

"Kisa needs professional help. I'm sending her to Kyoto to a clinic there that specializes in eating disorders," Haruhi said calmly.

"Can't Kisa do it here," Kisa's mother begged.

"It is in her best interest to go to the clinic. They are more properly equipped to handle this. I can treat her philological issues but the psychological—someone else will need to help her."

"Psychological? What's psychological about this?" Kisa's mother demanded.

"You wonder you didn't know anything was wrong," Rin snorted as she patted Hiro's shoulders. The former sheep was about to hit someone. "Something had to cause Kisa to think this was a solution to some type of problem."

"Are you saying that it's my fault?" the older woman demanded.

"If the kimono fits," Rin answered.

"It's no one's fault," Shigure state cheerfully. "Things happen. Kisa will be fine."

"Can we see her Hari?" Momiji asked hopefully.

Hatori only shook his head. "She's not ready to see you all. We can visit her at the clinic but right now she only wants to see Yuki and Haru."

"Are they alright?" Machi asked. She hadn't slept the night before worried about how Yuki would handle Kisa's problem.

"They're doing the best they can."

-

Six months at a treatment clinic.

It was doom. Kisa hadn't expected Hari to ship her away. She hadn't expected him to do much of anything. Part of her had wanted him to dismiss the entire thing but his eyes had been hard.

The others were in the waiting room. Everybody from the Zodiac plus her mother, Tohru, Mine, and Machi were in the waiting room wanting to see her. She was in shock.

They loved her and she had let them down. It was bad enough to face Yuki and Haru but to face the others especially Tohru and Kyo—She couldn't bear the thought of hurting sissy. No, she couldn't see them all with the look of disappointment in their eyes.

It was bad enough that twin grey orbs reflected that disappointment. Yuki was disappointed and worried for her. Haru's eyes—she had never seen him afraid. Never. She had made him afraid for her.

Guilt swamped over her. Guilt she hadn't felt since she had bit Haru and Tohru when she was in tiger form years ago. She had bit Tohru's hand because she was afraid but Haru—she had bit him out of anger. How dare he interfere with her problems?

Yet here he was years later fixing her problems.

Cautiously she went over to Yuki and hugged him.

"Thank you ni-san," she said softly.

Yuki looked slightly surprised before smiling and whispering thank you.

"I'll go talk to the others in the waiting room," Yuki said a few seconds later leaving the former tigress and ox alone.

"Gomenasi Haru," Kisa whispered.

Haru's head tilted towards her slightly. "You don't have to be sorry Kisa-chan."

"No, I do. You are always helping me when I get into this situations and I just make life more difficult for you."

Slowly he pulled her to him like had long ago when she had broken her silence. "You are the best thing in my life. Don't forget that."

To be continued…


	5. Healing of Old Wounds

Chapter 5: Healing Old Wounds

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Six Months Later

Kisa laughed hard as Momiji and Hiro argued over who was the better big brother. Hiro insisted that because Hinata announced him the "awesomest ni-san in the entire world" he was the winner. Momiji stated because Kisa-nee had declared him her brother he was the best.

Kisa smiled, her brother and her best friend were really going at it. It was funny to watch.

"My little sister loves more than yours," Momiji insisted.

"Please, Kisa felt sorry for you. You're a grown man obsessed with bunnies. Life will only go downhill for you," Hiro stated matter-of-factly.

"Sheepy, you have no idea the love a big brother has for his sister."

"Rabbit-obsessed-freak, you have no idea the extent of love I feel for my sister. And who told you you could call me Sheepy?"

"I heard Rin say it."

"Rin's the only one who can call me that, you bunny-loving nerd."

"Well Sheepy if it bothers you that much."

Rin laughed on the sidelines as Hiro went chasing after Momiji. It was common knowledge that something was brewing between the horse and the ram but no one could figure out what. Shigure declared it was brother-sister but Hiro had just looked at him like he was insane.

Kisa and Rin had spent a lot of time at the clinic talking about their mutual issues.

"_I just didn't want to live in this insanity anymore," Rin said. "The asylums offered me a place to cut out the people who hurt me. I didn't have to have visitors I didn't want. It made me safe. It was a world in my control."_

"_That's how I felt about the bulimia. It gave me something to be good. I was better at it than those girls and people were telling me I was pretty. I felt good but it's not healthy," Kisa replied._

"_Then let's make a pact," Rin announced. "If we ever feel like we need to do something that drastic again we talk to each other about it."_

"_Agreed."_

They became like sisters and Kisa enjoyed having someone who didn't judge her. Her mother had been quite judgmental and Kisa still wasn't speaking to the older woman. Their relationship was damaged and Hari had suggested they go to therapy. Kisa was slightly shocked when her mother agreed to the arrangement but didn't back out. Therapy here they come.

Tohru and Kyo were whispering sweet nothings under a tree. Kisa watched them gaze at each other like there was nothing else in the world. It was so romantic and Kisa was a romantic. She appreciated such things and felt slightly envious. She still wasn't in any relationship and had a series of unresolved feelings for a specific person. It had been brewing for years and only in the last six months had she realized that she had been falling in love. Of course you don't tell that to someone who thinks of you as their little sister.

Tohru had visited her at least once a week and had always brought Kyo. The cat and the riceball invited her out. They took on picnics and walks. They talked with her and Kyo even taught her a few karate moves. He suggested she come to the dojo and take lessons. Kisa had quickly agreed and was learn faster than Kyo had anticipated. Kisa could honestly say that she felt comfortable around Kyo. She had told that her ni-san and seen Yuki's gentle face become horrified.

"It's just because he's knows I'm better than him," Kyo had declared after watching the scene play out.

Tohru just shook her head at their antics too used to the two cousins to interfere anymore.

The times in the clinic that were the most rowdy were when the trio would visit. They were sitting a under a tree now each with their significant others talking but in the clinic they were madmen. Sometimes Kisa wondered if Hari was certifiable for hanging out with Aya and Shigure.

"_So Kisa-chan let's have a fashion show," Ayame announced. _

_He always brought mounds of costumes with him when he came. He was going to brighten up the drab hospital and give it Aya-star power._

"_Oh let's," Shigure clapped his hands. "We'll dress you up all cute like and parade you around."_

"_And have all the other patients think you two are nuts. Sounds fun," Hatori said dryly._

"_Tori, it's a great idea!"_

"_Ha-san is so mean."_

Of course while she was in the clinic the biggest changes in Sohma family happened. Four of her cousins had gotten married. Kagura of all people had announced Shigure was her soul mate. Kisa had been mortified. Kagura and Shigure? Was the world loosing it? But the boar and the dog were happy together. A little too happy considering Shigure was running his hands up Kagura's legs.

The other couple had been Kureno and Akito. Kisa hadn't been too surprised. Everyone knew the former goddess had missed her rooster.

"Life is too short," Akito had told Kisa during a visit. "Not to tell a person you love them."

Ritsu was still studying and happily coming home to Japan for Kisa's Welcome Home Party. He had hugged her and babbled apologies but Kisa had only smiled.

All of her cousins had visited her regularly but no one visited more than Yuki and Haru. Yuki came ever other day and Haru came everyday. Kisa couldn't stop feeling grateful to the two of them for finding her. She knew now that if they hadn't discovered her she would most likely be dead or have severe health problems.

Yuki was gazing at Machi adoringly. The two were planning on getting married but Kisa had a feeling Tohru and Kyo might beat them to the altar.

She just watched the scenes of happiness play out completely oblivious to someone approaching her. Instantly she was pulled to a very familiar chest.

"Having fun?"

His question was soft barely above a whisper.

"Yes, but I missed you. You're late," she answered before facing the bright grey eyes.

"I had to do something first and I got lost."

"You always get lost."

He laughed softly. "It took a while to get it too."

He handed her the tiger lilies which had a necklace wrapped around. The gem was a topaz with amber and black streaked through it.

She gasped slightly.

"I wanted to get you something special. I know you didn't want anything but—"

Kisa moved quickly pressing her lips to his in a rush of warmth. "Arigato," she said before getting up embarrassed. She guessed it was a start. At least now he knew she didn't think of him as a brother.

Haru smiled. The kiss had been thank you enough.

THE END


End file.
